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Godzilla Stands Vigil at Schiavo Bedside Confirms Pope, “Habemus Popum!”
Ponce DeLeon, Fla.- Officials in this Florida town did a quick double take when they saw that Godzilla, the fiery serpent of 1950s fame, intended to make a special visit on behalf of the ailing medical pop star, Terry Schiavo. Would the fire-breathing but reformed monster from the South Pacific have the sensitivity or the medical chutzpah to make an informed decision and play a positive role in this hotly contested case? The Terry Schiavo saga attracted world-wide attention in the month of March when, after fifteen years on a feeding tube it appeared that there were doubts about the status of her condition. Examined by teams of neurologists under the supervision of the Courts, the doctors maintained that Schiavo lingered in a persistent vegetative state, with permanent damage in more than eighty-percent of her brain. The parents of Schiavo disagreed with this finding, and top crusaders of the Moral Tabernacle of the Totally Pious soon flocked to her bedside pledging all-out resistance to any attempt to cut off the Schiavo lifeline. Insisting their daughter had at times been responsive to their presence, the Schiavo parents hired their own medical experts who produced a contrary opinion. But the Courts agreed with doctors who called the parents’ experts quacks, coming down on the side of Schiavo’s husband who was ready to let Terry pass into the beyond. Representative Tom DeLay, the Texas Congressman noted for his integrity in support of such causes as Enron Energy Corp, soon joined forces with the Moral Tabernacle, vowing to rush an emergency bill through Congress to SAVE TERRY SCHIAVO. DeLay blamed the media for misrepresenting the medical pop star’s condition, calling for a Palm Sunday compromise, while insisting that “the legal issues are complicated, but the moral issues are not.” It was at that time, apparently, that Godzilla entered the picture, moving onto the scene in Florida with an entire squadron of F-16 Nighthawk Dive-bombers close on his tail. “You could see the radioactivity given off by this guy,” said one observer. “Like man, this was GODZILLA!” Still miffed with reporters as a result of criticism of his part in the fracas at Paradise Mountain, VA. in August of 2004, Godzilla was in no mood to tolerate questions from members of the press--seen here as unqualified even to talk about matters of national security. Godzilla brushed off reporters and went right to the question of whether Schiavo should have a second chance. “I’m ready right now to back emergency legislation to save Terry Schiavo, “ said Godzilla. “See, we’re planning to build a culture of life here. This will be a place where all Americans are welcome and valued and protected. And we’re going to build that culture and nothing will stop us.” On the subject of the confirmation of Pope Benedict XVI, Godzilla added, “I offer my blessing to Pope Benedict XVI. He’s a man of great wisdom and knowledge. He’s a man who will serve the Lord… And so I say to all the truly spiritual, Habemus Popum.”
Send comments on the latest from Godzilla to hollywinkle@carolcivicvoice.org.
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Carolina Civic Voice Summer 2005 Vol. 5, No 2 |
