|
Godzilla’s Economic Forecast The Increase of Bums Indicator
Washington, D.C. - In the nation’s capital today, Godzilla, the fiery serpent of circa 1950s origin, announced that an infallible new economic indicator provided final proof that the U.S. economy is actually improving. The White House economic advisory council confirmed that the analysis of data had been verified by leading experts from around the country. The Increase of Bums Indicator—as it is being called here by most—was cited by the South Pacific doomster as only the latest sign of an up-tick in the overall economy. New energy sources in the Middle East, and in the Arctic circle, along with the growing pool of cheap labor in the U.S. were also mentioned as important factors, along with an increasing abundance of cheap chemicals in native stocks of air and water. According to Godzilla, the apparent irony in the situation is really just to the point. The fact that so many view the growing prevalence of poverty, indigence, and homelessness as sources of alarm is only further proof of how just little the new indicator is really understood. “It’s all in how you look at it,” said the flame tongued lizard. “You see, some people just have a bad attitude. So, if you look at the economy in a negative way, why all you see are the negatives instead of the positives that are right there in front of you.” Speaking before a large cheering audience, the serpent of slithering steel announced a new set of impressive statistics. The increase of bums, according to Godzilla, proves that the economy is improving because in actual terms it means that the rich are getting richer. More bums means that in terms of real money, the wealth of the rich is actually richer today than was previously thought. In this sense, according to the experts, an increase in bums is actually good for the economy. At the conclusion of the speech, Godzilla briefly took questions from the press, but the session was cut short. Several reporters were cited for attitudinal adjustment problems, and “the Zilla” issued a last and final call for mo’rality on his way out, warning that the end could be near for evil doers.
Send comments on the latest from Godzilla to hollywinkle@carolcivicvoice.org.
|
|
Carolina Civic Voice Winter 2005-06 Vol. 5, No 4 |
