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Godzilla Visits the Katrina Zone Gives Blessing to “Lost Souls”
GULFPORT, LA.—Having just returned from a nostalgia trip to Bikini Atoll in the Pacific, Godzilla, the fiery serpent of 1950s fame, greeted thousands of shrieking fans with a wave of hand as he stepped off Air Force One at this Gulf Coast Louisiana town in March. The region known as the Katrina Zone, in the wake of the most destructive natural disaster in American history, welcomed the slithering serpent turned great leader, whose photometric death ray that had once torched tanks, melted MIGs, and vaporized whole Pacific Islands at a single burst, now remained cool as he greeted fans with a grin. Visiting a local diner in a gesture of good will, Godzilla stood before the lunch counter with shirt-sleeves rolled up, his collar open casually at the neck. He chimed, “Gee, I just love these people!” The restaurant manager, waitress, busboy and cook were special representatives of the Republican National Committee flown in by jet to serve as extras on the Godzilla set. Now the whirr of camcorders and the paparazzi flash followed the loquacious lizard as he greeted the restaurant clientele and exchanged pleasantries, encouraging the elderly to try his prescription drug benefit plan. “It’s easy as one, two, three,” said Godzilla. In the region once known for Jazz and Cajun recipes, now known for devastating floods, desolate neighborhoods empty of human habitation, spiraling crime rates, unemployment, and the newly homeless evicted by the Federal Emergency Management Administration, Godzilla offered words of comfort to those who lingered near. “Just look at all the benefits these people have received,” said the serpent. “You see we are blessed, each of us in his own way.” Stopping at a construction project managed by the Office of Faith Based Initiatives, Godzilla strode to the microphone and began to address the group of extras left over from the set of ALEXANDER. “You know I just love the sound of hammers. We are rebuilding here from Katrina and the unselfish sacrifice of people all over America has meant special contracts for my campaign contributors. And they will be filled just as soon as our appropriations for new combat divisions in Iraq are made final.” With his head bowed in solemn reverence, he nodded in the direction of the South Pacific. “Dearly beloved,” said Godzilla. “May all these lost souls here receive my special blessing. For I am the way, the truth, and the light, and they who believeth in me shall be comforted, but they who say “it’s for oil” shall be remembered on the Day of Judgment—when my government spying program finally…Whoops!” said the fiery serpent. “There I go again!”
Send comments on the latest from Godzilla to hollywinkle@carolcivicvoice.org.
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Carolina Civic Voice Spring 2006 Vol. 6, No 1 |
