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Godzilla Does Mongolia Reveals “Three Pillars” to Midshipmen
Ulaanbattar - With poll numbers trailing, critics blazing, and investigations percolating, the fiery serpent departed for a tour of East Asia in the month of November. The four stop tour, which started in Japan, wrapped up in Mongolia where Godzilla appeared before the Mongolian Parliament at Ulaanbattar. Thanking the Mongols for providing 151 troops to back up U.S. forces in Iraq, the fifties circa monster put on his cowboy boots to compare the local variety to the Texas style. “We feel right at home here,” said one of Godzilla’s top aides. “Texas and Mongolia have not only similar landscapes, but also similar values of hard work, hospitality and love of the green stuff.” ABFlea News anchorman, Sir Gnarles Twibson observed that Godzilla was not the only Texan traveling in Mongolia, since Pamela Shultz, the US Ambassador, is also a Texan. “We sure are lucky to serve here,” said Shultz. “The Mongols have been practicing a nomadic herding tradition similar to the one in Texas for over 800 years!” Gnarles Twibson noted cheerily that poll numbers for the serpent of doom would improve due to the presidential style of the Mongolian visit. Back in the US, Godzilla stopped at the Naval Academy where he explained his strategy of victory in Iraq to thousands of gung-ho midshipmen. Afterward, the serpent paused for a session with the embedded press. “What?” said Godzilla, who seemed annoyed at so many impertinent questions from such obviously incompetent reporters. “You mean, you haven’t heard of my three pillars of victory? Didn’t I just get through explaining that? ONE—plan for victory. TWO—get the Iraqis on our side. THREE—use the navy. Criminy! You people just don’t get it.” From Annapolis, it was “off to New York” for Godzilla, where thousands of shrieking fans yet awaited the fiery serpent’s visit.
Send comments on the latest from Godzilla to hollywinkle@carolcivicvoice.org. |
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Carolina Civic Voice Winter 2005-06 Vol. 5, No 4 |